i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
