apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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