it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come share oat with me in your robe
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