do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
