kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize