it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
