I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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