I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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