he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize