who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
