I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
