I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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