Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
