i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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