i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
