I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize