Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
