I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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