Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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