butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
