I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Randomize
