Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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