I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
