How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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