i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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