is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
