I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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