Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
