So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
