Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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