i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
