I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
