if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
