so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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