thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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