It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
