Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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