Porn is love you can see.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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