But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
