I want to walk on stilts...naked
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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