I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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