I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
