glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
