I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
