I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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