I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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