The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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