I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
