And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
