ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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