Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
