new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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