god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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