dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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