i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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