You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
