i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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