Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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(360): View more from Washington

would you consider him our boss?

(503): View more from Oregon

technically yes

(360): View more from Washington

then technically i slept with our boss

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(727): View more from Florida

writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.

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(914): View more from New York

I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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(863): View more from Florida

I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila

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(601): View more from Mississippi

We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.

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