you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
