Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A bitchslap is in order.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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