i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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