guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize