By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You pole danced in your parka.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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