I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
