Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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