i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
