no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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